anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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