sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize