the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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