A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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