Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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