her vagine was all disorganized.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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