i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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