remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize