it hurts more in the daytime
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize