One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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