I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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