YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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