so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize