My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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