He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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