just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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