Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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