Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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