Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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