I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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