Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize