I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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