He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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