the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize