This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think I died a long time ago.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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