this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize