So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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