Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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