I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize