You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize