I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize