If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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