Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
honey bunches of taint.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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