I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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