take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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