He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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