I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize