I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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