Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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