i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize