when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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