I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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