yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize