what day is it and did you see me today?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize