So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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