it wasn't lemon gatorade
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
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I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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