Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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