You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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