My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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