Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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